I’m writing this 6 months into being a new mum of 3.

If I could go back to the start of my motherhood journey knowing what I’ve learnt by now, there would have been a lot less struggle than I have had over the years. 

So hopefully these highlights I’ve learned can help a new mum from day one of their motherhood journey. 

1. A Fed Baby IS a Happy, Healthy Baby

The most controversial topic for new mums is how to feed the baby. The pressure is to solely breastfeed them for the first 6-12 months, but for many this is not possible and that is okay! I feel like the main thing to tell a new mum is that it is okay to not breastfeed – I wish I was told this with my first born, who I did breastfeed for 6 months because I felt like it was wrong to do otherwise. It was my second born, who made me realise that breastfeeding is not always best for the baby when he struggled to gain weight from having only my breastmilk. This led to me combo-feeding my last baby for 12 weeks with breastmilk and formula, which was the best experience out of the 3 for me, but it took elements of each experience to come to the best experience for me.

So the key is to ignore any outside influence and do what is best for you as a fed baby is always going to be happy and healthy.

2. Go to Sleep Earlier DO NOT Stay Up Late

If I did this from the my first born then I’d probably be a lot less sleep deprived today. 

The urge to sit and scroll or binge TV or even read to escape reality after baby goes to sleep is very real as a new mum. However, with a baby it is inevitable they are going to wake up during the night so the key is to bank as much sleep as you can. So, aiming to go to sleep within a hour of baby being put down for the night will help – yes this can mean, if you’re lucky, that you get you’re full 8 hours sleep by 3-4am BUT it’s unlikely that will be a reality for at least the first 6 months after birth. Once the baby is guaranteed to sleep through the night, that’s when you can regain a few more hours of your evenings again. 

Also, there is a beauty to being awake earlier than everyone in the house as in that time you can simply do what you would have been doing if you stayed up late – just without the sleep deprivation. 

3. Ask for Help

If I genuinely asked for more help with my first born without the feeling of being a burden to anyone it would have helped my mental health a lot in my first year of motherhood. 

Now with juggling the 3 kids, the guilt of asking for help is still there but it is minimal. It has taken for us to be fully outnumbered to understand that we simply can’t do everything or be everywhere with them all.

4. It’s Okay to Buy Second Hand Things

It is crazy how much we feel we must have everything brand new but being on maternity leave does mean finances are stretched thin. 

Over these first few years, Vinted and eBay have saved us so much money and provided great clothes, toys and items for the kids. Also, reselling items on those platforms is just as effective too. 

5. You are Allowed to do Things for YOU 

Being a parent is a full time job and to keep functional it is important to do things for you. It took me a while to realise that I can still do things I enjoy around parenting without feeling guilty or having to wait for all the kids to be asleep.

Doing something as simple as reading, listening to a podcast or an audiobook can help with that loss of identity you feel in the early stages of parenting.